Religious Affiliations around The Office

Posted by Siamang on: 01.29.2007 /

By Siamang

I made a reference to the funniest tv show currently running in a previous post. A number of other posters here chimed in. Which got me to thinking…. what religions ARE the characters of NBC TV’s The Office?

I’ve seen webpages speculating about the political beliefs of cartoon characters. I’ve seen insanely elaborate ones about the religious beliefs of superheroes.

I figured this would be worthwhile. Actually useless and sad. But maybe fun.

I think only the accountant character, Angela has referenced any beliefs on the show. So these are my conjectures. Hopefully they’re on-target to the characters as I see them.

Per Wikipedia rules, here’s the link to where I got the photos I’m using.

So let’s start!

………

Michael Scott

Scientologist. Well, actually dabbles in Scientology. Thought Scientology was a good path for him until he found out that it costs money. Attempted to save money for a time by trying to gain free audit sessions by constantly returning for personality tests and steering the conversation. Today Michael’s entire adherance to the faith consists of a few helpful hints he clipped out of a free copy of Dianetics, and watching the videos “Battlefield Earth,” “Phenomenon,” and the “Look Who’s Talking” trilogy. Considers himself an OT-VIII.

……

Jim Halpert

Committed Agnostic. Deeply feels that nobody can possibly know of the existence or non-existence of God, so why worry?

……

Pam Beesly

Theist. Former Methodist and choir-singer as a girl, Pam has drifted away from structured Christianity. She firmly believes there is a God, but she believes that organized religion has gotten so far away from the deeper mysteries. She considers herself a deeply spiritual person, but has a hard time expressing her beliefs in ways that others can relate to.

….

Dwight Schrute

Horakthiest. Follows a religious tradition of his own invention, Horaktheism. Horaktheism is based equally upon portions of Sun Tsu’s The Art of War and an ancient Sumerian war god cribbed from the Deities and Demigods rulebook from the First Edition of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. Dwight is the sole adherant of Horaktheism, which, according to the Horakian Rules of Engagement, makes him First General and High Priest Exhaltant.

……

Ryan Howard

Catholic. Attends Mass three times a week. Afraid to tell anyone in the office of his beliefs for fear of endless dirty nun jokes from Michael.

……

Angela Martin

Nondenominational Christian. Angela belongs to an evangelical “megachurch” outside greater Scranton. Her most fervent belief isn’t in God, but in the immortality of the souls of animals. Her favorite piece of literature is the poem “Rainbow Bridge” which she cannot read without crying. She reads it at least once a day.

…….

Oscar Martinez

Episcopalian. Oscar was brought up in the Catholic Church, but since coming to grips with his own homosexuality has joined a liberal Episcopal Church near the University of Scranton. Is a member of the Scranton All-Men’s Jubilee Choir, even though sadly he is tone-deaf.

…..

Kevin Malone

Deep Thinker. Sometimes likes to “get deep” and think about Carl Jung. Once blew his own mind by repeating the word “reality” over and over until the word just sounded like gibberish to him.

…..

Stanley Hudson

Pentecostalist. Very involved in his church, which his family has belonged to for four generations. Has 43 Godchildren, half of whom are named “Stanley”.

…….

Phyllis Lapin

New Age Beliefs. She believes herself to be the reincarnation of Cleopatra because of her strong dislike of snakes. She dabbles in love potions and she once burned a magic love candle that was the shape of a male sexual organ. The next day, Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration asked for her hand in marriage. She has saved every fortune-cookie fortune she’s ever gotten.

……..

Meredith Palmer

Higher Power. Meredith is an on-again, off-again member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and turns-it-over to her Higher Power on occassion. She thinks the Serenity Prayer is complete bull-crap.

…….

Kelley Kapoor

Superstitious. Raised in a Hindu family, Kelley hasn’t the patience for following all the rituals of that ancient tradition. She instead relies on a lucky cell-phone charm, and a few special bells on her key ring. She attributes her romance with Ryan Howard to their astrological compatibilty and her collection of lucky trolls. Doesn’t make a move without consulting the Cosmopolitan Bedside Astrologer.

…….

Creed Bratton

Other. Creed has had a variety of religious experiences. Creed is a former leader of a Peyote cult he founded in Arizona in the 1970’s. He is currently an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, which he operates as a tax dodge. The residents of a small villiage in Laos revere him as the 43rd incarnation of the Bodhisattva of Forbearance.

…….

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