Posted by Siamang on: 03.12.2007 /
By Siamang
With Jim and Matt’s book coming out, as well as Hemant’s, we expect to see a number of new visitors to this site. I think for the most part, the people viewing this site have been here for a good part of the conversation, but pretty soon that may change a little bit.
Those who have been here are familiar with this conversation and what makes it special and as far as my experience on the internet goes, unique. This has been and continues to be the one conversation where Christians and atheists are really learning how to talk with one another.
As I said, I think it’s unique. A conversation between Christians and atheists that has required very little moderation. One that seeks understanding rather than “winning” an internet argument. It’s not always perfect, and I wouldn’t count myself as having a perfect record in this regard. But it’s so much better than anything else on the internet that it’s an oasis.
So as we welcome new visitors, or just as a reminder to ourselves, I’d like all of us to share the rules of thumb of this conversation. These can be welcome messages, or things we’ve learned about our discussion here with people of different beliefs.
My hope is to highlight some of these in upcoming posts, to bring new visitors up to speed on what this conversation is all about. Imagine someone new coming to this site, a Christian or an atheist, or anyone else with a different belief. What’s something you’d say to them to bring them into the conversation?
Here’s a start: Don’t assume, ask. Don’t assuming you know the other person’s view based on your own past experiences or assumptions. Don’t start with “Well since you’re a Christian, you believe I’m going to Hell.” Don’t start with “Well, since you’re an atheist, you believe that humans have no more worth than animals.”
These are merely statements of the questioner’s unwillingness to open their ears and understand the other. Don’t assume you know the beliefs of someone else because “all you atheists are alike” or “all you Christians are alike.”
I’m sure I’ve made assumptions about other’s beliefs in the past and have come to regret it. This is great advice for listening.
-Siamang
Leave a Reply
Comment by: Jim Henderson
1 03/12/07 11:45 AM | Comment Link |Wow, I cant believe that I get to be the first one to respond to Siamangs invitation.
I want to welcome you to our little oasis (as my friend Siamang has so aptly put it)
As a follower of Jesus for a (really) long time I’ve become concerned with the difficulty my fellow Christians have expressed with “difference”. We aren’t very kind to people who take a different position from our own and on balance we aren’t nearly as curious as we need to be about WHY people have a different point of view.
This oasis allows you to maintain your beliefs while at the same time providing you numerous opportunities to explore other peoples beliefs.
Some wonder why I think that is a good idea.
1) I don’t think Jesus ever wanted his movement to be organized around “correct” beliefs
2) It helps us grow in humility which is something I KNOW Jesus is interested in
Have fun and practice talking about yourself more than others
Ask questions about others instead of using them to “set” people up
Comment by: Rachel
2 03/12/07 3:54 PM | Comment Link |Here is one of the conversation guidelines from the Constitution of Dialog that I really appreciated:
“When you say this or that person who self-professes to belong to your group doesn’t represent what your belief system/non-beliefs/label is all about; we will listen. We will not take advantage of the behavior of particular self-professed members of your group - which you yourself have issues with - to try to show that your whole group or group’s beliefs/non-beliefs are ridiculous.”
Comment by: Jim Henderson
3 03/13/07 5:29 PM | Comment Link |Rachel - I think this point is so central to making dialog work. In his book The Magic of Dialog , Daniel Yankelovich points out that in order to have dialog people need to “give ground” - that is admit things they wonder about their own beliefs or behaviors they are dismayed by in members of their own beleif system. When someone does this I consider it to be what I call sacred relational space and our job is to defend that space - not destroy it