ACTION ALERT: Atheist Boycott!

Posted by Siamang on: 12.05.2007 /

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Godless friends and agnostic neighbors,

We atheists have been losing the War on Christmas for too long. How long we have struggled while Christian, after Christian after Christian has gotten their fantasies made into big-budget family epics, only to have our triumphant indoctrination tool defeated by the unholy alliance of the Catholic League and just about every professional movie reviewer in the nation

Well no more.

Today we atheists take a stand. Today we stand up to the culture wars and today we fight back.

Brothers and sisters, it is way past time we flexed our economic muscle in the marketplace of entertainment. You know the horrible unholy, ungodly horror I’m speaking of. Well today, we atheists are standing fast, and calling for an international boycott of the abominal horror that is “The Christmas Shoes.”

The machine that is “sacred media” will TREMBLE at the awesome economic power of millions of atheists SIMULTANEOUSLY not buying “The Christmas Shoes” items. That’s right, this is a blanket boycott. I’m not listening to the song, nor buying the album. I’m saying “NO” to the stage play AND the CBS dramatization starring Rob Lowe. I’m boycotting the book, the storybook with CD, the Christmas Ornament and the Cookbook. I’m not even going to read the Chain letter EMAIL that started it, or pray “The Christmas Shoes Prayer.”

Yes. There, I did it. You didn’t think we atheists would have the guts… all I can say is TAKE THAT BILL DONOHUE!

-Siamang

12 Responses to "ACTION ALERT: Atheist Boycott!"

  • Comment by: cautious

    1 12/5/07 11:02 PM | Comment Link |

    Solidarity!!!!

  • Comment by: Eliza

    2 12/6/07 12:50 AM | Comment Link |

    Brother Siamang,
    Thank you for your godless propaganda post. I had not been enlightened about aware of The Christmas Shoes until this. I will make every effort not to see, hear, or think anything about TCS ever again. That will really show them. It will also stick it to the saccharin manufacturers, whose influence is apparent when one reads a synopsis of the plot of TCS. Comrades, unite! No shoes for Christmas the winter holidays!

    ***
    OK, I really had never heard of TCS. From Wikipedia comes these little gems of info:

    Originally an Internet-forwarded legend, it was forwarded to a member of the Christian vocal group NewSong in 1996.

    In Tom Reynolds’ book I Hate Myself and Want to Die (2006), he names “The Christmas Shoes” as the most depressing song in modern recorded music history.

    (He’s one to talk - what a depressing book title!)

  • Comment by: Eliza

    3 12/6/07 1:02 AM | Comment Link |

    OK, I violated my vow already, watched the music video on YouTube, fascinated by the number of hits that came up on a google search of “christmas shoes hate”.

    You will be shocked, I’m sure, to hear that someone dying of congenital heart disease would not look as good as the mom in this movie, and almost certainly would have massive fluid buildup in the legs & ankles, such that the lovely pair of red shoes would not come close to fitting on her feet.

  • Comment by: Laura M.

    4 12/6/07 3:19 AM | Comment Link |

    Well this atheist, for one, is taking this boycott so seriously, I’m not even going to click on the links to discover what unholy, ungodly horror ‘The Christmas Shoes’ holds in store for us poor persecuted atheists, lest I inadverently fall prey to it’s wicked, abominable attempts to warp my fragile little mind.

    REFUSE to be indoctrinated, fellow atheists !! Exorcise…I mean exercise your economic power !!!

  • Comment by: Ir (Helen)

    5 12/6/07 7:10 AM | Comment Link |

    Siamang, we need to work harder to get the word out - people haven’t stopped buying this yet! The Christmas Shoes is sold out at Amazon (oops, sorry, don’t click on it if that implies a positive interest in the book).

    Here’s the Publisher’s Weekly review Amazon includes on their page:

    Two couples find their lives transformed by a Christmas gift in VanLiere’s debut novel, a gooey holiday parable that leaves no stone unturned in its pursuit of tear-jerking moments. Robert Layton is an ambitious lawyer who sacrifices his youthful idealism to become a partner and specialize in bankruptcy law. His ambition backfires, though, when his wife, Kate, announces that she wants a divorce from her often absent husband, throwing family life into chaos right before the holidays. Meanwhile, on the other side of the tracks, another couple anticipates impending tragedy as young mechanic Robert Andrews tries to prepare his family for the coming death of his attractive wife, Maggie, from ovarian cancer. The two families’ lives critically intersect when Layton goes Christmas shopping and encounters Andrews’s young son, Nathan, trying to buy a pair of shoes for his mother as a going-away present. When the hard-hearted lawyer sees that the boy is short of cash, he ponies up for the purchase. The transformation that follows makes for a heartwarming story, and VanLiere writes some affecting family scenes that contrast the material poverty of the Andrewses with the spiritual poverty of the Laytons. But the story’s beauty is marred by the author’s nonstop holiday clich‚s in both assorted characters and passages of decidedly preachy prose.

    It’s hard to see how a book like this could seriously derail the Atheist cause; however we can’t be too careful…

  • Comment by: Stephan

    6 12/6/07 7:51 AM | Comment Link |

    Monday night was the staff Christmas party at our church. I was there because my wife is the handbell director and helps plan worship services.

    We had a white elephant gift exchange, and when it was your turn to pick a gift you had to name a Christmas song for the group to sing. One person chose Christmas Shoes. Our music director, seated at the piano, first feigned ignorance, then started to wretch when he realized what they were asking him to play. He refused to play it and we ended up singing the Chipmunks’ classic “Christmas Don’t Be Late”.

    So despite the fact that neither he nor I are atheists, please count us in on the boycott. It’s long overdue and I, for one, hope it is successful in ridding the world of this drivel.

  • Comment by: Mike O

    7 12/6/07 9:31 AM | Comment Link |

    Hmmph.

    I guess I’m just a big softie at heart … I watched the video and man-cried. Yup. No noise, but I teared up and now my throat hurts.

    I’m going to see if it’s airing again so I CAN WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!

    That’s right - Bring it on, godless heathens! Bwwwaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!

  • Comment by: Mike O

    8 12/6/07 9:38 AM | Comment Link |

    Yup, it’s on again December 9th on the lifetime channel! I’ve already set my DVR.

    Bwwwaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!

    You will lose!!!

    Bwwwaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
    [visualize larger font]
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
    [visualize an even larger font]
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
    [visualize yet an even larger font flashing red, white and green]
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

  • Comment by: Siamang

    9 12/6/07 10:31 AM | Comment Link |

    FOUL BEAST!!!!

    YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF ATHEISTS EVERYWHERE!!!

  • Comment by: benjamin ady

    10 12/6/07 2:05 PM | Comment Link |

    you guys crack me up. thankyou.

    I’m going to see golden compass first thing. Just to freak out chuck colson, if nothing else.

    oh, and thankyou *so* much for bringing TCS to my attention. yotta-Gross. I thought I was safe from that sort of thing here at ebay atheist. I love they way the movie joins with GWB as promoting consumption as the answer to all problems. Let’s boycott that whole spiel this chritmas holiday season.

  • Comment by: Laura M.

    11 12/7/07 8:38 AM | Comment Link |

    I’m going to see if it’s airing again so I CAN WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!

    That’s right - Bring it on, godless heathens! Bwwwaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!

    Yup, it’s on again December 9th on the lifetime channel! I’ve already set my DVR.

    Bwwwaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!

    You will lose!!!

    Bwwwaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
    [visualize larger font]
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
    [visualize an even larger font]
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
    [visualize yet an even larger font flashing red, white and green]
    BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

    NO- NO- NO- N0
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    [visualize GIGANTIC font flashing red, white and green]

  • Comment by: Laura M.

    12 12/7/07 8:45 AM | Comment Link |

    You will be shocked, I’m sure, to hear that someone dying of congenital heart disease would not look as good as the mom in this movie, and almost certainly would have massive fluid buildup in the legs & ankles, such that the lovely pair of red shoes would not come close to fitting on her feet.

    WE KNEW IT WAS ALL PROPAGANDA .