Posted by Mike O on: 05.01.2008 /
The things I’m learning here at OTM are starting to bleed over into my real life.
I’ve got Christian friends who have come to me regarding friends that are atheists. They’re wondering how to deal with a relationship like that.
One lady I’ve met recently just found out her daughter is an atheist, and she’s having a really hard time with their relationship, as you might suspect. I’ve been able to help her.
I work part time at a pizza place, and my manager is an atheist. It’s taken some time, but we actually have a pretty good working relationship now.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that everything I’m learning online applies to my real life. While I’m not interested in becoming an atheist, I am interested in relating to atheists. And I’m finding that more and more Christians have similar relationships, but they don’t quite know how to go about it.
I consider what I’m doing online as a ministry to the atheist community. But for Mike in Real Life, I think my ministry is actually to the Christian community - helping the church learn to relate to a world who doesn’t see things the way we do.
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Comment by: Ir (Helen)
1 05/2/08 4:29 AM | Comment Link |Mike I’m so happy this is your ‘Real Life’ ministry. I only wish more Christians were engaged in this ministry!
Comment by: Jim Henderson
2 05/2/08 6:31 AM | Comment Link |Pastors salivate when people in their church say things like this.
I am honored that a conservative Christian had found a place to belong - space to think and a way to grow in the OTM relational web.
Comment by: Karen
3 05/3/08 2:00 PM | Comment Link |Wow - that’s great that you can carry your new, atheist-friendly wisdom over into real life. :-)
So, what are you telling these Christians that is helping them relate to atheists?
Comment by: Jason
4 05/4/08 4:14 AM | Comment Link |Mike, I’ve been trying to think of a way of phrasing this that isn’t critical and insulting. Rest assured that I mean no insult in what I’m saying.
Rather than relate to a person as an atheist why not relate to a person as a person? A person’s view on supernatural issues is surely secondary to who and what they are.
Comment by: Ir (Helen)
5 05/4/08 6:04 AM | Comment Link |Jason, that’s a great question and thanks for doing your best to show it’s not intended as an insult.
When I was a Christian I learned that ‘Christian’ was the defining attribute of my life. I would not have been much of a Christian had it not been. This implies that ‘atheist’ is the defining attribute of an atheist’s life.
In reality atheists and Christians have a lot in common, but this teaching that ‘Christian’ and ‘atheist’ are the central defining characteristic of a person can get in the way of seeing that.
Having said this, I’ve had the happy opportunity to be with Mike face to face on a couple of occasions and I would say he treated me like a person first, atheist second. Mike is one of the friendliest people I know. He was curious about my lack of Christian beliefs, which doesn’t surprise me.
Mike didn’t judge me for being an almost-atheist or assume things about me based on that label. He asked questions so he could learn from me rather than having an opinion about me based on second-hand information about ‘atheists’.
Comment by: Mike O
6 05/4/08 9:31 AM | Comment Link |Karen said,
I’m telling them to listen - to show you the same respect we want you to show to us. And to accept the fact that you don’t agree with us.
Christianity is not a belief system that can be based on pure reason, but reason is the arena of the atheists. Christians add to reason a spiritual element that atheists don’t acknowledge. Given that difference in perspective, Christians have got to learn to relate to people on a non-spiritual level first, and that means listening. It it ever gets to a spiritual level, that will be God’s doing, not mine.
I’m telling them to love people with no agenda. Jesus didn’t go out to the marketplace to convert people, he went out there to love people, regardless of whether or not they ever become Christians. And because of that, many did choose to follow him. Yes, we *do* want all people to follow Christ. But putting that condition on our relationships is repulsive to you. We need to stop doing that.
To Jason’s question,
That’s exactly the point I’m trying to make to the church! I couldn’t have said it better myself - in fact I may use that!
Helen, you’re a sweetheart!
Comment by: Karen
7 05/4/08 12:35 PM | Comment Link |What wonderful wisdom you’re imparting, Mike O! I definitely agree with all of it.
I would say that you serve as a great role model, too. You have not only been a great listener here but also someone who listens and applies the lessons learned, rather than someone who listens superficially and then doesn’t let the information change his attitudes. Good for you!