Posted by Jason on: 12.15.2008 /
Last week I wrote about being wrong and covered briefly some of the problems with admitting when we’re wrong and how much it can help us when we finally do. An important thing that goes hand in hand with this is the idea of asking questions, sometimes embarrassing ones. If I don’t understand something then there really is nothing wrong with asking a question about it.
Kids do it all the time. My kids are wonderful at asking the most annoying and stupid questions that leave me completely unable to provide a decent answer. Alexander will ask: “Why do we pay tax?” for example or “Why do children go to school?”
I know why I pay tax. It is because the government made a rule that says I have to. Why do I obey this rule, what right do they have to take my money? His “stupid question” got me thinking that I have a social contract with the state. I provide a percentage of my earnings to pay for certain communal things from a national health service (in the UK) to the war in Iraq, from social welfare plans to the road system. In return I get a voice in deciding how and where my money is spent.
I know why children go to school. They go to school to receive an education. Well a bit. Compulsory education was introduced following legislation on child workers. If children weren’t allowed to work then there was a fear that they would turn to crime. Educating them in publicly funded institutions was partly a step to head off a juvenile crime wave that the legislators feared was imminent.
I love stupid questions, not because they are stupid but because they sometimes make you think. A stupid question can highlight a deficiency in knowledge that can be rectified or can cut apart a whole series of assumptions and lets us revisit what we have come to understand. I pay tax because income tax is taken from my wages but thinking of it as a way of ensuring that we all pay for what we all use makes it easier to understand and appreciate. Knowing why kids go to school helps us to understand how our education system was defined and that helps us to change it is we see problems with it.
Sometimes a stupid question can just show us that we’ve been asking the wrong questions all along. If it is a good question and we don’t have an answer then maybe it is worth investigating. Sometimes the questions are more important than the answers.
Sometimes I ask stupid questions about religion. Sometimes I do this because I like to challenge someone to provide a decent answer (well, what I’d consider a decent answer) and sometimes I just want to be able to understand the course of the logic that someone took to get to faith. I can be like an annoying child who constantly asks “Why?” I love that question and I love that annoying way of asking why that children do so easily.
When my kids ask me “Why do some people believe in God?” or “Why do some people pray?” I don’t have a good answer. The best I have is half an answer: Belief in God helps them. They feel better believing in a God. Prayer helps them to order their thoughts and make sense of their experiences. I know that it’s half an answer so I always finish my explanations with “I don’t really know but it’s a good question”.
Are there any stupid questions that you’d like to ask?
Comment by: Mike O
1If your kids believed in God, would that bother you?
Comment by: Seren
2Now you’ve got me thinking, what on earth would i say to a child who asked me that? I suppose the answer would be some sort of simplified version of, “Because the weight of their experience leads them to the conclusion that there is a God worth believing in,” or some such.
What are my stupid questions?
hmmm…
Why do you think people (we) spend time posting comments on this, and similar, sites?
Do you think the conversations we have really are conversations, and do we get to know eachother?
Here’s a few that really have bugged me for a while:
why do people wear clothes? i mean clothes rather than just coverings?
we all wear skirts and pants and shorts and t-shirts and button-up shirts and… you know.
WHy don’t people wear wacky combinations of material coverings?
why do we all wear clothes?
Comment by: Jason
3Mike, a simple, closed question. In a word: no. If they’d arrived at that decision in a way that made sense to them then I’d accept their choice. That wouldn’t stop me talking about it though and testing their limits. How would you feel if the situation were reversed?
Seren,
There are lots of reasons. To better understand other people of differing views is one. Simply because it can be interesting is another. Being open to the possibility of being wrong is a favourite, there’s no sense in isolating yourself from opposing opinions if you want to grow as a person. Sometimes I just like to argue. :)
Yes. I think we do. At least to the extent that a web interface will allow. It can be a little impersonal but I find myself able to be more open as a result sometimes. Helen may have some more to say on this point given the early contributions to Off the Map.
There are the practical considerations of keeping warm, or otherwise protecting yourself from the elements. There is protecting your sensitive body parts from harm. As long as you are covering yourself in something you may as well make it suitable for attracting a mate or displaying status within a group. A skilled hunter may wear the skins of his or her kills or a skilled weaver may wear elaborately woven clothes to display their skill. I know my own children proudly wear the t-shirts that they’ve decorated or made.
There’s an issue of conformity too. People tend to mimic their peers to gain acceptance. If I have a really cool hat (perhaps a pirate hat) then everyone will want one.
The trend to stand out apart from your peer group is unusual. It is practices by outcast members of the group. Perhaps someone who just doesn’t care to conform and dresses for comfort or someone who is already outcast in some way and so extenuates their differences by an act of non-conformance. I have a friend with a history of mental illness and self harm who dresses outrageously to distract from her issues. People see her green hair and braided dreadlocks and miss the shyness and pain.
At least that’s my theory. It seems to fit but I might be wrong. Why do you think clothing choices are the way they are?
Comment by: Seren
4I’m glad you listed so many good and healthy reasons why we post here. So i’m not just wasting time!
What you wrote about clothes got me thinking - they really are like a language. Maybe we don’t just wear what we like for the same reasons we don’t just make up our own words: because we communicate so much to others via what we wear.
That’s much nicer than “because we’re all conformist nongs” !!
Comment by: Jason
5I like the idea of clothing being another way of communicating our identity to others. As with many things I’m reminded that it isn’t quite as simple as I first thought.
“nongs” ha.
Comment by: Mike O
6I would have more trouble with it than you, simply because for me, it’s more than a matter of him agreeing with me - it’s a matter of eternal destiny.
My sister is not a believer, but that doesn’t stop me from treating her like I treat everyone else. She’s my sister and I love her. I would do the same for my son. But yes, it would bother me. How could it not?