Like everyone else I get to be wrong almost every day in some way. Something I thought was true turns out to be false. Some action I make is based on false assumptions. No matter how I try to be consistent or accurate with the information I have sometimes I get it mixed up or concentrate on the wrong thing and miss the whole point. In the process I, like anyone else, sometimes appear irresponsible, inconsiderate or just plain flawed. As a member of a social species I have certain traits both learned and inherited that make me concerned that I will be judged on my mistakes. I, like anyone else, sometimes go to great lengths to explain how a mistake wasn’t really my fault or wasn’t really a mistake at all. Sometimes I might go as far as getting defensive and attacking the person blaming me for my mistake in an effort to distract from the error.
Of course, such worry and effort to hide mistakes is counter productive. Instead of making us happier and closer to others it creates a wall of interference that prevents us from being honest. Yet we don’t simply abandon the idea that being wrong is bad and admit to our mistakes with a jaunty laugh. We’ve learnt that mistakes are sometimes costly if we have to do over some work. We’ve learnt that other might be disappointed with us or irritated at our shortcomings. We reinforce in others our dislike of error and unconsciously encourage them to hide their mistakes.
We don’t account for the fact that nobody deliberately sets out to do anything wrong. We don’t praise mistakes as a way to learn yet some of the greatest scientific discoveries come off the back of a huge series of failures. Sometimes the very thing that scientists try to prove fails and that leads to new questions and new directions that teach us much more about the universe that we’d ever hoped before. We should embrace our mistakes so that we can understand where we went wrong and seek to correct our own actions.
My daughter, Caitlin, has expressed a desire to become a chef in later life. She enjoys the art of cooking, the blending of ingredients to bring out complementary flavours, the application of different techniques whether they be boiling, slow cooking, searing, frying, beating, whisking, whatever to create something greater than the ingredients. As you’d expect from any 11 year old she makes mistakes and is easily discouraged. During a cookery lesson at school she made something that went wrong. Her cake mix failed to make a cake. This simple mistake was nearly enough to put her off the idea of becoming a chef.
It’s my pleasure as a father to share my many mistakes with my family. I explained to Cait that I often make mistakes when I cook and very often when I try to cook something for the first time. Perhaps the technique isn’t clearly explained in the recipe or (more likely) I have taken a shortcut that I think will save me some effort and it turns out to be essential. Rather than get discouraged or angry we can try to salvage the recipe, turn it into something else or abandon it and cook something different. Cait got to laugh at her foolish old man and then helped me make some chocolate biscuits and some banana bread (which I’ve finally got right).
The effort and discussion reminded me that we don’t know the answer to every question but just muddle through as best we can. We make mistakes and learn from them. It’s OK to be wrong, even badly wrong as long as we set them right as best we can and try not to repeat them. Admitting our mistakes also helps others to learn as well and it doesn’t diminish our achievements or abilities at all.
Next time I make a mistake I’ll try to see it as something positive. I’m sure it won’t be long before I get the chance.
Posted in A Cacophony of Posts, Jason | 14 Comments »The other night I put this message on my Twitter and Facebook status:
One of my favorite things Christians do: pretend not to see each other so they can avoid having to say hi. So immature…
For the record:
A few emails, comments, arguments and questions later, I realized that I had hit a nerve with some people.
I’ve found myself, as problematic as I’m recognizing it to be, holding Christians to a higher standard than that of which I hold non-Christians. I can rationalize too:
So I often find myself looking at Christians, myself included, a bit up in arms: “And you call yourself a Christian???” I often think.
Look, I’m all about grace. I’m all about understanding. But where do I draw the line? What the the difference between a Christian who is growing and learning and a Christian who clearly hasn’t/doesn’t put any effort into becoming a person who truly loves God and loves one another?
Me, I look at these Christians and my first desire is to want to judge them: “You are a horrible Christian. Pick up your bible, read it, and take a long look in the mirror - you might be surprised,” I’d love to say. They can’t possibly justify their crappy attitudes/behavior if they’re reading the same bible as I am.
I’m learning that it’s a better idea for me to:
I won’t lie, though. There’s still a part of me that feels completely justified for feeling like this.
Why do I have to act like it’s ok for a Christian to claim the name of Christ while acting like a complete fool who has never been transformed into the new creation that the bible says we become?
Posted in A Cacophony of Posts | 41 Comments »http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/200 … ying-faith
According to the above report the religious beliefs of children (why they are labelled as religious when they haven’t reached an age to make an informed decision on faith, I still don’t know) are a cause for bullying behaviour. The trend is for people of the same religion to stick together and to avoid contact with children of other faiths. Many children are not so defined by faith and so mix with who they choose.
Should we be encouraging children to be more accepting of other children’s religious views or to resist this sort of faith based thinking? I mean we can accept someone’s right to believe whatever nonsense they like but do we have to support it? Clearly we shouldn’t persecute people for being atheist, Muslim, Buddhist, Catholic, Christian or Pastafarian but nor do we need to accept or even tolerate their beliefs.
We should draw the line at bullying but shouldn’t we draw the line before bullying has the chance to begin. By emphasising differences without embracing them we foster separation from the mainstream which leads to bullying. If we accept ALL cultures as alternative but valid we could head this off before it becomes an issue. Is that just pie in the sky thinking? We aren’t going to get a situation where everyone holds the same religious views, not even if everyone were Christian.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to foster acceptance of varied beliefs while retaining individuality?
Posted in A Cacophony of Posts | 14 Comments »